


Desmond says to Molly girl I like your face And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand

by stardateno



Series: Ob-La Di, Ob-La-Da [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bearded Steve Rogers, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes Recovering, But just a little, Dom Steve Rogers, Feminization, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Sam is a Saint, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Sub Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, he's coming into his dom role and let's just say it's gonna be awesome once he figures it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:34:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardateno/pseuds/stardateno
Summary: Steve is trying to figure out exactly how to help Bucky with his new - thing and lesbihonest, he needs some help"But in this area, Steve is very much out of his depth so he’s gonna have to think about his problem.And Bucky? Well, Bucky isn’t making it easy on him."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Ob-La Di, Ob-La-Da [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148690
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	Desmond says to Molly girl I like your face And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all I wrote this and then it somehow got deleted and I rewrote it and it's a completely different story. Completely different. But this is unbeta'd and I wrote it in like two days so do with that what you will.

Steve would be the first to admit that he is not the most observant person. It once took him three months to notice that Pepper had had his bathroom retiled while he was on a mission once. When it comes to the field, Steve notices everything and has every bit of information he could ever need provided to him by Friday. But when it comes to his personal life, no observational skills at all.

It didn’t really surprise Steve that it took him so long to notice this thing with Bucky, but once he noticed it? It occupied all his attention. Bucky was pretty shy with things before that day with the robe, he didn’t broadcast his actions and with Steve’s poor observational skills, it was a miracle that it came into the light at all. But now that it is out in the open, Bucky is much more comfortable in his actions.

And Steve? Well, Steve is so fucking into it that it makes his head spin. 

Steve had never been attracted to females. The only time he’s ever seen a woman naked is in the dressing rooms when he was on tour with the USO and that was only when space was tight. And he won’t lie, the experience kind of scared him. To be 100% honest, Bucky had been the only person Steve ever had eyes for. He remembers popping his first stiffy watching Bucky sweating out on the fire escape at 13. So the fact that Steve is so into Bucky wearing little Italian robes is both surprising and to be expected.

\-----  
Once Steve clued into Bucky’s - thing - Bucky’s indulgence in it skyrocketed. All the things that he’d been hiding from Steve were now free game at all hours of the day. Bucky now spends hours in their claw foot tub, hair piled carefully on the top of his head, candles lit and the water full of sweet smelling oils and bubbles. He sleeps with silk scarves wrapped around his hair because, “if I sleep on the pillow, my hair will get frizzy, Steve, and I spent so much time on it,” and lays with his head on Steve’s lap and makes him play with his hair for hours during their audiobook nights.

Bucky now has about 1000 different products in the shower and on his half of the counter in their bathroom. Steve spends four or five mornings a week sitting on the bathroom counter watching Bucky get ready after his bath. Bucky, with his hair wrapped in a towel and a small white bathrobe applying product after sweet smelling product to his body and face, occasionally pulling Bucky in to kiss him. Bucky stiles his hair so it flows in soft waves and has to bat Steve’s hands away to stop him from touching it while it’s still warm from the hair dryer.

This thing wasn’t an all the time thing. Bucky was still Bucky. He is still a man who weighs 275 pounds and has days where he doesn’t shave and doesn’t shower. He still lays on the couch in his sweatpants and a dirty tank top some days, eating Cheetos out of the bag, swearing at the tv. He still goes down to the gym, runs 20 miles and then spends hours beating the hell out of Steve or anyone else who wants to spar with him.

But there are days where he walks around the house in his briefs and one of Steve’s button ups unbuttoned half way down his chest with big thick socks on and Steve just about has a conniption every time he sees Bucky like that. But for some reason, after that time on the couch, where they rutted against each other and Steve called Bucky his “little dame” for the first time, Bucky has been - weird about sex. As in he hasn’t let Steve do more than kiss on him a little. Which, Steve isn’t picky, he’s happy with whatever attention Bucky gives him, but he’s beginning to feel like he needs to show Bucky that he really doesn’t mind the - thing, that he’s actually really into it. But in this area, Steve is very much out of his depth so he’s gonna have to think about his problem.

And Bucky? Well, Bucky isn’t making it easy on him.

\-----  
Bucky’s silk robe now has several companions hanging up in their closet in their bathroom. There are now light pink ones and baby and dark blue ones, ones with flowers and ones with lace, grey and white and green and maroon, all silky and soft and falling to the tops of Bucky’s thighs, barely covering his ass. And Steve is almost at his wits end because Bucky is being a little shy about this aspect still. He’ll walk all around the house in these little robes, showing skin and making Steve feel alight but not letting him touch.

\-----  
So Steve is feeling pretty pent up and as much as he hates to admit it, is very bad at compartmentalizing so all his frustrations are coming out in other areas in his life.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam was standing over him while he lay on him back on the sparring mat. “As much as I’d like to think that I’m a badass you’re a freaking super soldier and that shouldn’t have taken you out.” Steve sighed and stayed on the mat.

Steve is not used to having anyone to talk about his relationship with Bucky with because they would have killed him back in the 30s. And then Bucky was dead and he was frozen and in a new century and Bucky was back but didn’t remember him and almost killed him and the he was on the run and wouldn’t let Steve find him and Steve burned for him and - Well, needless to say, Steve had a lot of mixed emotions about everything surrounding Bucky and had never had someone to unpack them with. 

“What’s going on man,” Sam asked him sitting down next to Steve on the mat. “You’ve been off for like a month now.” Steve didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t know if he was allowed to talk to Sam about what’s happening with Bucky but he really needed some advice.

“I’m just a little confused lately,” Steve whispered, staring up at the ceiling. “Something came up with Bucky and it’s kind of a delicate situation and I don’t know how to show him I support him in it.” Steve hesitated. “And we haven’t had - you know - for a while and I’m just -” Steve slopped his arms and then pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes hard enough for spots of color to burst behind his eyelids. He choked down the lump in his throat and took a deep breath.

Sam was quiet for a minute then he leaned back on his hands and said, “Listen man, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here and I promise that whatever is said will stay between the two of us.” He extended his legs out and sank back further on his hands while Steve prayed to sink through the floor.

When that didn’t happen, Steve decided to talk. He haltingly told Sam about Bucky and how he has started wearing softer things and how much Steve wanted to support Bucky in whatever he needed to do to feel safe and good about himself.

“I just don’t know what to do about it,” Steve sighed, sitting up. Trying to continue the air of privacy they had cultivated with Steve not looking at Sam and Sam not saying anything, just letting Steve get things off his chest, Steve pointedly avoided Sam’s eyes. “We talked about it and got-got each other off that night and then out of nowhere Bucky won’t let me touch him. I told him it is totally fine with me and I did what he asked me to do but now he’ll only let me kiss him and then he pumps the brakes.” Steve sighed again and ran his hand through his sweaty hair.

In a fit of bravery he turned and looked at Sam. Sam had his hands clasped around his shins with his head bowed while he listened quietly. Sensing Steve’s eyes on him, Sam looked up and gave a gentle smile and a little nod, encouraging Steve to continue. Steve was flooded with affection for Sam. Sam was the best friend he’s ever had. Bucky was a whole different category to him, his one and only, the love of his life, but Sam was his best friend.

“I’m just out of my league, here,” Steve said. “I don’t know how to help him. Sam, he tells me all the things that happened to him while he was with Hydra, the things he can even remember and-” Steve had to stop and take a breath. Bucky had suffered so much. So much pain and terror and horror and Steve should have looked for him. Bucky has told him time and time again it’s not Steve’s fault but deep down, Steve knows he will never forgive himself for abandoning Bucky in that ravine. He’s going to spend the rest of his life making sure Bucky has the best fucking life in the whole world. He failed Bucky in Austria, but he’ll burn down the world to ensure he never fails Bucky again.

He seems to be failing Bucky in this though. It’s been subtle but Bucky seems to be slowly closing himself off from Steve the past few weeks. First it was the sex, then it was a little less cuddling on the couch, then Bucky sleeping on his side of the bed instead of right in the middle. Little things that had Steve had been noticing, that have been building up anxiety in the back of Steve’s mind.

“I just need to figure out how to help him. If he wants to wear robes and dresses and whatever then I want him to do that. But he’s so skittish about the topic that I can’t get him to talk to me about it.” This was true. Steve, bullheaded as he is, has tried to bring up the topic but Bucky just pretends not to hear him. Bucky’s serum, while different from Steve’s, still gave Bucky super human senses. Steve knows Bucky heard him which means that Bucky ignored him.

“It’s so weird!” It bursts from Steve and the tight little ball in Steve’s chest loosens just a little. “He indulges in his thing even more now. He wears the robes and exfoliates and does his hair and seems so comfortable in his skin now but he won’t talk to me about what he wants me to do!” Steve stopped and took a deep breath. This outburst wasn’t helping anything, Sam didn’t need Steve to yell at him so Steve forced his voice to be normal. “What do you think I should do, Sam?”

Sam sighed and sat back on his hands, stretching his legs out and crossing his ankles. “Normally I try to not give out advice, Steve,” he said. “But yours and Bucky’s situation is a little different than I’m used to dealing with so I’ll give you my two cents and then we can talk about what you think about my advice, sounds good?” Steve nodded.

“I think it took a lot of nerve for Bucky to tell you about his needs.” Steve nodded again. “From what I understand, he was basically telling you ‘I have this need that I need met. Are you willing to help me meet it?’ Would you say that is close to your understanding of the situation?” Steve nodded for a third time. “Awesome, so we're on the same page,” Sam said and he sat up a little. “Bucky probably spent a lot of time figuring things out before he told you about any of it. This kind of coping mechanism doesn’t just pop up overnight, it’s been a thing for him for a while.” Sam rubbed his beard. “I don’t think you’re failing Bucky by taking some time to think about things. You need time to come to terms with this.”

Steve started to object but Sam cut him off. “Listen man, I know you don’t care about it but you have to admit that this is a big change to the dynamic of your relationship with Bucky. I know you are willing and happy to support Bucky in this. I know that, and I’m sure Bucky knows that. But this is a big change and I don’t think you’re failing in your support of Bucky by taking a little time to wrap your head around things. So cut yourself a little slack in that area.” Sam sighed and leaned back on his hands again, uncrossing and recrossing his legs.

“So, by Bucky showing you his thing, he was asking you to help him meet this need. Now, this need definitely falls into two categories. It falls under a sexual need, but also a day to day need. I say that because this seems to be something Bucky does inside the bedroom, but the majority of it is outside the bedroom. From what you said, you’ve explored the sexual need just a tiny bit before Bucky put a hold on that. Maybe you should start with the day to day need.” Sam looked Steve in the eye when he said that.

“Start from scratch. This is a new dynamic, a new Bucky. You can’t just jump into the middle of this dynamic because you haven’t laid the foundation. You need to date this new Bucky, figure out what he needs from you in a nonsexual setting. The sexual setting will follow just like with any relationship.” Steve nodded a fourth time. 

“Okay, I think I can handle that,” he said.

“Let’s brainstorm,” Sam said. “What do you think Bucky would like that would show him you are okay with his thing that doesn’t lead to sex?”

Steve thought. He knows Bucky better than anyone else on the planet. He should be able to figure out what Bucky wants from him. But then Steve remembered what Sam said, he needs to learn this new Bucky. This Bucky is going to want different things from Steve. Sam let him think for a minute before giving a little more advice.

“Start slow, Steve,” He said. “I know you are ‘Steve 110% Rogers’ but you’re gonna need to slow your roll in this situation.” Steve groaned.

“Sam, I’ve never dated before! I have no idea how to slow my roll! I realized I was gay in a time when I would have gotten beaten to death in the street if anyone found out. I realized I was in love with my only friend and spent the next 5 years suppressing the shit out of those feelings. And then I kissed Bucky when I was drunk off my ass and then spent two weeks avoiding him because I was sure I cocked everything up and when he finally tracked me down and told me he loved me we he still went out with women like 4 times a week to keep up appearances so we weren’t lynched. And then he went to war and I got the serum and then it was war and he fell and I crashed the Valkyrie cause -” Here Steve stopped. He just almost told Sam he crashed that plane because he couldn’t live a single second longer knowing that Bucky was dead and lost and he took his first full breath since Bucky fell when the plane hit the water. 

Steve swallowed hard and pushed all that down. “And then I was awake and then I found Bucky and then he was on the run and all that shit with Tony and Wakanda. I’ve never been on a date. Not a single date in my life so I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Sam chuckled and then sighed. “You know what man, I don’t know what you should do either.” He chuckled again. “Your life is fucked up, you know that right?” Steve gave a humorless laugh and flopped onto his back. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

They just sat in silence for a while. It was a comfortable silence between friends and it stretched out for a long time. 

“What did you do for your first date?” Steve asked Sam. Sam thought for a second and then answered. “I think we had a picnic in Central Park if I remember correctly. It was fun, nice and quiet.” And with that short sentence, Steve knew what he was going to do.

\-----  
Steve decided to take Bucky on a lunch date the next day in the facility’s greenhouse. He put in his grocery order, picked out a blanket, and then asked Bucky if he could take him out.

Bucky looked surprised. He was in the tub with his hair plopped on the top of his head in a messy bun when Steve came into the bathroom and asked him out on a date.

“You wanna take me out on a date?” Bucky asked skeptically, eyes narrowed just a little. Steve came and sat on the floor next to the tub and leaned his chin on the edge of the copper tub. 

“Yeah,” Steve said with a little smile. “I wanna go out with you, just you and me and spend some time together. It’s been a long time since we’ve had special time for just us.” Bucky looked even more skeptical. “Steve,” he said. “We live alone together, we eat dinner and go to sleep alone together every day. We have lots of alone time.” Steve just shook his head a little. “Naw, Buck,” Steve said with a little smile. “I wanna take you out, show my sweetheart a good time, just the two of us.” 

Bucky blushed a little, just the tops of his cheeks going pink. It could have been explained away by the heat of the bath water but Steve knew. Bucky squirmed a little in the tub, the water sloshed up the sides of the tub but settled quickly.

“Okay,” Bucky said quietly. “We can go out.” Steve jumped to his feet smiling. “Great! I was thinking a lunch date, how does that sound?” Bucky just nodded and Steve turned to leave Bucky to his bath. Steve stopped and walked back over to Bucky. He leaned down, one hand braced on the edge of the tub and one hand gently but firmly tilting Bucky’s face up and kissed Bucky. The kiss was hard and full of excitement. He slipped his tongue into Bucky’s mouth for half a second to tease a little and then pulled back just a little, his nose touching Bucky’s. Bucky tried to follow but Steve kept his distance. “You are so beautiful,” He whispered and kissed Bucky hard one more time before turning and walking over to the bathroom door.

“It’s gonna be pretty casual so you don’t have to wear anything fancy but I would like it a lot if you looked nice for me, doll,” Steve said with his forearm braced against the door jam. Bucky squeaked a little and this blush couldn’t be explained away by the heat of the water and Steve smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. “I’ll leave you to get ready. But don’t rush for me, I have no other plans other than being with you today.” And with that Steve turned and left Bucky to his bath.

\-----  
It took Bucky another hour to be ready. Steve was lucky that he pulled clothes out of their closet before Bucky got in the tub because Bucky kept the bathroom door closed tightly the entire time he was getting ready.

Steve was going to vibrate out of his skin. He had the basket almost packed, everything except the refrigerated things were in the basket and ready to go. The blanket was folded and placed into a duffle bag with a couple of their throw pillows shoved in so Bucky could be comfortable. He had washed the dishes from breakfast, folded their numerous blankets in their living room and laid them over the back of the couch, scrubbed down the counter and the stove before he went and quickly changed into his date clothes. He has consulted Natasha over video chat and she had only mocked him a little before telling him to wear his jeans and a button down and his leather jacket. “Slow your roll,” she had said before she hung up and Steve was left to wonder how Nat was omniscient. 

Steve looked at himself in the guest bathroom and took a deep breath. He looked good. He had taken time off as Captain America after Bucky had moved back in with him after Wakanda. He had grown out his beard and his hair had gotten really shaggy. Bucky told him to get a haircut last week and Steve was really glad he listened to him. His hair was clean cut and his beard was trimmed and shaped and he looked pretty good. He ran his comb under the water and combed his hair and then took the beard oil Tony had given him as a birthday present and massaged it into his beard. It smelled like cedar wood. Steve took a couple more deep breaths and then he heard the master bathroom door open and he rushed into the living room so he could be there when Bucky came out of the bedroom.

Steve stood on the rug in front of the coffee table and dragged his palms on the thighs of his jeans. His palms were a little sweaty. And then Bucky walked into the living room.

He was - he looked - He had his shoulders thrown back in beautiful defiance but Steve could sense the underlying anxiety in his eyes. He was wearing high waisted black jeans and a white blouse that was tucked into his pants. He had a green kimono cardigan over his blouse that flowed down to his calves and sandals. He had two braids starting at his temples and ending in a half ponytail with a grey ribbon tying everything back. His skin seemed to shine and he looked like a dream. Steve told him just that.

“You look like a dream, doll,” Steve said grinning at Bucky. Bucky beamed at Steve. He nervously tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and Steve noticed he had several beaded bracelets on his right wrist. “Thanks,” Bucky said quietly. They just stood there smiling at each other for a minute before Steve shook out of his daze and got everything put together and then offered his arm to Bucky who blushed before he took the offered arm and they left the apartment.

\-----  
The Avengers facility had several buildings near each other on the spacious grounds. There was the HQ building where there were offices and conference rooms and communication stations and all the jazz that keeps the Avengers running. There was the gym which had the shooting range and a track and the sparring mats and all the stuff that kept them trained and battle ready. There was the hanger where all the jets and other vehicles were stored. There were the barracks where everyone had their own apartment space. And then there were the surrounding lands. There were grass areas and forests and tucked behind the living quarters there were the gardens. There were places for the people who lived at the facility to plant a flower garden or a food garden, and the greenhouse that was towards the back of the property was where they were headed.

The greenhouse was an amazing place; Tony housed pretty much every plant you could think of in the greenhouses. When they reached the greenhouse, Bucky peered up at Steve with a sweet smile on his lips and Steve couldn’t help but lean down and kiss him quickly. Bucky’s hold on Steve’s arm was light and timid when they left their apartment but now it is firm. Since Steve’s arms were busy with Bucky’s hand and the picnic basket, Bucky reached out and pulled the door to the greenhouse open. With his gaining confidence, Bucky led Steve through the maze of plants to a Magnolia tree that was full of white blossoms. 

“Can we eat here?” Bucky asked with a hopeful face. Steve just smiled and set the picnic basket on the floor. He pulled the blanket out of the duffle bag and spread it out nicely on the ground. He then laid out the few pillows he brought up against the trunk of the tree and motioned for Bucky to sit down. Bucky sat gracefully, folding his legs beneath him and Steve sat bracing himself against the pillows. He opened the basket and started pulling things out of it. He had ordered sandwiches from Bucky’s favorite diner and he pulled those out with several other bits and ends, grapes and pineapple, carrot sticks and potato chips. He had two pieces of sokolatopita from the Greek bakery Bucky loved for dessert.

When he had everything laid out, he turned to hand Bucky a water bottle and saw Bucky smiling but looking a little shy.

“What’s up, hun?” Steve asked, passing the water to Bucky. Bucky took it with his metal hand and brushed the fingers of his real hand over the knee of his jeans.

“You’re all the way over there,” Bucky and the rounds of his cheeks turned pink again. Steve grinned. “Well I didn’t want to presume, doll. Good little thing like you, didn’t want to make any move you’re uncomfortable with.” Bucky blushed harder than ever at these words. Steve smirked a little to himself.

“If you wanna come sit closer I’ve got no objections,” Steve said stretching his legs out and patting the ground between his thighs. Bucky put his water bottle down and crawled over to Steve on his knees. Watching Bucky crawl over to him made Steve a little hot under the collar but he pushed that down cause now really wasn’t the time.

When Bucky was close enough, Steve reached out and pulled him in. He helped Bucky get situated between his thighs, turned sideways with his legs thrown over Steve’s left thigh. This let Bucky lean his shoulder against Steve’s chest but left them with enough room to eat. Steve leaned down and kissed the hinge of Bucky’s jaw, which was smooth and warm.

“Thanks for letting me take you out, doll,” Steve said quietly into Bucky’s cheek. “I’m so lucky to have a dame like you give me the time of day.” Bucky’s breath hitched a little and he turned his head to look Steve in the face. His eyes were wide and bright and Steve could read a little anxiety in his face. Steve ran a bracing hand down Bucky’s back and kissed his forehead. Bucky sat with his forehead against Steve’s lips for a minute before leaning up to give him a quick kiss.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Stevie,” he said tucking some hair behind his ear. “I’ve been waiting for you to take me out for ages.” Steve smirked a little and kissed him again, just as lightly as Bucky had just kissed him.

“Sorry it took so long, honey,” Steve said and suddenly his throat felt a little tight. He knew right now that he wasn’t just playing with Bucky, that he was being sincere and apologizing for taking so long to support Bucky in this. “It took a little bit to build up the courage to ask to take you out. I was really nervous cause you’re so beautiful and wonderful and I really don’t want to screw up. I wanna show you a good time, make sure you know how much I like everything about you.” He said this looking Bucky straight in the eye.

Bucky took a deep breath and when he let it out, a little of the tension he had been holding was let go. He smiled at Steve and handed him a sandwich and took one for himself. They sat and ate their sandwiches and talked about everything and nothing. Bucky finished his water bottle and asked for another one and Steve fished it out of the basket. Neither Bucky nor Steve drank anything alcoholic anymore. Bucky had spent too much time drugged and not in control of himself to voluntarily drink anything that altered his control and Steve didn’t drink out of solidarity and because he’s never been the biggest fan of the way beer tasted. And it didn’t work on them anyway cause of the serum so it really didn’t matter anyway.

Bucky slipped out of his shawl when Steve broke out the sokolatopita. His skin was flushed a happy pink color and he leaned in to undo the second and third button on Steve’s shirt. It was warm in the greenhouse, which didn’t bother either of them. They both prefer to be a little warm than a little cold for obvious reasons. Steve handed Bucky a little plastic container of chocolate cake and a plastic spoon.

Bucky laughed a little as he took the first bite. “Do you remember the first time we had sokolatopita?” He asked Steve. “Nikos Eliopoulos gave me a piece after I carried his daughter home when she fell and broke like three of her toes. We split the piece on the fire escape and it was so good that we bought a slice for our birthdays from then onwards.” Steve smiled around his bite of cake. “Yeah, honey, I remember.” Sokolatopita was their go to treat whenever they had a few extra coins to rub together.

They finished their cake with Bucky leaning his shoulder against Steve’s chest and Steve propped up on the pillows. Once they were done, Steve put the little plastic containers back into the basket and maneuvered himself onto his back and pulled Bucky down with him. They lay there for a long time, laughing and munching on the fruit. Buck pressed close, his arm around Steve’s chest and Steve’s arm around his shoulder. After laying in a comfortable silence for a while, Steve gave Bucky a gentle squeeze.

“I better get you home before the neighborhood starts to talk,” he said softly into Bucky’s hair. Bucky propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Steve. “I had a really great time today, Stevie.” His voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. Steve smiled up at Bucky. “I did too sweetheart.” Bucky kissed Steve’s cheek and pushed himself up. He put his shawl back on and stuffed all that remained of their lunch into the basket while Steve folded the blanket and put it and the pillows into the duffle bag. Steve helped Bucky to his feet and offered his arm again. Bucky took it and then wandered back to their apartment.

\-----  
Back in their apartment, Bucky went into the bedroom to change while Steve put the leftover fruit in the fridge. He replaced the pillows on the couch and put the blanket on top of the washing machine. Hoping he gave Bucky enough time to do what he needed, Steve wandered through the bedroom into the bathroom to change into his sweats. Bucky was standing in front of the mirror in a little grey silk robe undoing his braids. Steve stared a little before he shook himself and continued into the closet.

You’re building that trust again, he told himself. Bucky will let you back in when he’s comfortable. Steve allowed himself one little sigh when he was in the closet before stripping out of his jeans and button down and pulling on sweats and a t-shirt. He exited the closet and glanced at Bucky again. Bucky had gotten his hair out of the braids and was combing through it with a wide toothed comb. Steve smiled at him through the mirror.

“You look beautiful, doll,” he said before exiting the bathroom and giving Bucky the privacy he probably wanted after today. Out in the living room Steve flopped onto the couch and flipped on the tv. Forensic Files was on and Steve settled into the couch to watch.

Bucky appeared in the living room about 20 minutes into Steve’s episode. Steve noticed him and grabbed the remote to turn the volume down a little. Bucky strode over and sat next to Steve on the couch, his legs under him and his metal elbow propped on the back of the couch, his hand propping his head up. He just looked at Steve for a minute before scooching closer so his knees were pressed into Steve’s thigh. His briefs were barely peeking out of the bottom of his robe.

“Stevie,” Bucky whispered. Steve flipped the tv off and tossed the remote onto the coffee table before the name was even fully out of Bucky’s mouth. He took a little shuddering breath and turned to face Bucky. Bucky reached out with his flesh hand and grabbed Steve’s hand. They sat there for just a minute, just looking at each other, holding hands. Bucky’s metal hand parted with his cheek and gently brushed Steve’s bangs off his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said to Steve. Steve got out, “Oh Bucky,” before he was cut off by Bucky squeezing his hand to cut him off. “I’m sorry, Stevie,” he said again. “I’ve been making you figure things out without helping you and that wasn’t right of me to do that.” He brushed back Steve’s bangs again and stoked his hair a little. “I just don’t really know how to help you cause I don’t really know what this means still.” He sighed and leaned in to kiss Steve. The kiss was soft and full of so much love Steve’s chest ached.

Bucky spent several minutes just kissing Steve, soft and lovely. Neither of them tried to deepen the kisses or speed up their rhythm at all. They just kissed and kissed and Bucky softly stroked Steve’s hair and Steve held Bucky’s face in one large hand.

After a while Steve drew back a little. He kept their foreheads touching and they just breathed each other in. After a minute of beautiful peace, Bucky spoke again. This skin around his mouth was pink and irritated from Steve’s beard.

“I don’t know why I’m having this block about letting you in.” Bucky said softly into the few inches of space between their mouths. “That night,” and Bucky didn’t need to specify which night. “That night was wonderful, it really was. I was so nervous and you just took it in stride and made me feel so special.” Bucky lifted his head from Steve’s and backed up just a little so he could look Steve in the face. His eyes looked wet. “When I woke up the next morning, I just felt so- so,” He took a deep breath and a tear slipped from the corner of his eye. “I felt so small because here I am asking you to treat me like a woman and you’re attracted to men.” Another tear slipped from his eye and more followed. Steve let go of Bucky’s hand and brought it up to his other cheek and cradled Bucky’s face between his hands. He stayed silent but he did thumb the tears from his fella’s cheeks.

“This is something I don’t understand,” Bucky continued. “I don’t understand why I need it but it just feels right when I do it and it’s so much to ask of you. This isn’t what you signed up for when we started loving each other as teenagers. And I guess I scared myself and I pulled back from you cause I didn’t want to make you do anything you were uncomfortable with.” Bucky sniffed and looked at Steve with a small smile on his face.

“I just wanted to let you know that it means a lot to me that you are willing to do this with me,” Bucky said while Steve leaned over and grabbed the tissue box off the end table and held it out to Bucky. Bucky gave an embarrassed smile and took a tissue and whipped his eyes. Steve just watched him with a small smile on his face while Bucky took another tissue and blew his nose.

Once Bucky turned to Steve to signal he was done cleaning himself up Steve took his hand again.

“Baby, I want you anyway I can get you.” Steve said with a little smile. “And, yeah, this is a big change,” he gestured at Bucky’s robe. “But I like it. I really do.” Bucky blushed a little at Steve’s wandering eyes. “You wearing frilly things and needing me to be soft and treat you nice and gently doesn’t bother me. You deserve to feel safe and loved and happy and I wanna give that to you so if this is what you need, this is what I wanna give to you.” Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand. “And Bucky, I’m still attracted to you. Yeah, I’m gay so if this change suddenly resulted in you having a vagina, we might have a little bit of a problem but we’d figure it out cause we love each other. But you wearing these short little robes and walking around in my button downs? It gets me hot. You get me hot Buck, and I can guarantee and whatever gets you hot will get me hot. As long as it’s you, Buck, I’m down for it.” Bucky laughed a little at Steve’s rambling and Steve laughed with him.

“I know you’re still a little uncomfortable with this and how we both fit into it but please don’t worry about me, Bucky. If you need to hold back in anything because for you, please do. But if you’re holding back cause you’re worried about how I’m gonna take it, don’t worry about it. Nothing about this bothers me and I love you even more for trusting me with this part of you even though I haven’t always taken care of you.”

Bucky groaned and smacked Steve on his chest. “Stevie,” he huffed. “You are the only person in the whole world I can rely on to take care of me. You take care of me better than I take care of myself.” They looked at each other for a minute before Steve had to confess something.

“I talked to Sam about this.” Bucky stiffened a little and he looked at Steve with wide eyes. Steve took a deep breath and told Bucky about his conversation with Sam. He told Bucky how he was feeling confused and pent up and how he didn’t know what to do. He mentioned how Sam wiped him out while sparing yesterday and how Sam told him that whatever was said in that moment would only be between him and Steve because Sam believes in patient confidentiality even though Steve isn’t technically Sam’s patient. 

“I just needed to talk to someone about what was going on, Buck and I understand why but you were kind of stonewalling me about the topic. I’m not judging you for that,” Steve said because Bucky was looking a little flustered. “You needed me to make the next move cause you made the first move that night and I’m totally okay with that.” Steve tried to reassure Bucky. “I wasn’t graphic or anything with Sam, we just talked about the best way for me to make my move. He said that I needed to date this new Bucky, that we needed to figure out this new dynamic slowly and build up the trust between us for this to work. It really helped me get out of my head and figure out how to break through this weird phase we were in.” Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand. “But I thought you should know that I talked to Sam about this.”

Bucky just sat there for a moment, absorbing the information that Sam knew about his thing. Steve could see him struggling a little with it and didn’t say anything. He just let Bucky think and after a little while Bucky blew out a big breath. 

“Thanks for letting me know.” Bucky brushed the hair out of his face with his metal hand. “I’m glad that you had someone to talk to about this while I couldn’t talk to you about it. I’m - I’m okay with you talking to Sam about us if that’s what you need to do to be okay with things.” He rubbed his forehead and said, “I’ve talked to Natasha about this a little.” That surprised Steve. 

“She said that it’s a coping mechanism,” and well, Steve guessed that. He just nodded at Bucky to continue. “She said that when she broke from the Red Room, she stopped getting ready every morning. When she was an operative, she had to be up and beautiful and armed everyday and now if she’s not on a mission, she doesn’t even put on pants.” Bucky suddenly maneuvered himself onto Steve’s lap. He braced his back against the arm of the couch and straightened his legs out on the cushions. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s hips and adjusted him so his bony ass wasn’t digging into his thigh.

“I thought a lot about Nat said, about how she coped and I can see how I am doing something similar. When I was with Hydra,” Bucky continued, looking at the opposite end of the couch. “I wasn't exactly taken care of.” Steve gave an ugly snort and stuck his nose into Bucky’s cheek. “It was hosed down instead of showered, frozen instead of sleep, supplements instead of food. So now I guess I’m over compensating by almost pampering myself and wanting you to take care of me.” Bucky ran his fingers through his hair distractedly. “At least that’s what I think I’m doing. I’m not sure and I don’t really know how to sort all this shit out.” He gave a chuckle and turned to give Steve a little kiss. He smiled into it and cupped Steve’s cheek with his metal hand.

“We’ve had a fucked up life, haven’t we, honey?” Bucky whispered into Steve’s mouth. Steve just kissed Bucky again for a minute before speaking. 

“Buck,” Steve’s voice was quiet and he spoke against Bucky’s mouth. “I just want you to know that you don’t have to figure things out because you think I deserve an answer because you’re asking me to do this thing with you. If you want an answer for you, because you want to have closure, then I’ll do whatever I can to help you figure things out. But I’m happy with just having you in whatever way I can get you.” Steve ran his hand up Bucky’s thigh and slid his fingertips barely under the edge of his robe. “And I really like you like this.” He gave Bucky another lingering kiss.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked with a little wiggle. And Steve, trying not to push Bucky, trying to allow him to set the pace, just kissed him again and then broke away. He sat back against the couch and withdrew his fingers from Bucky’s robe.

Bucky looked questioningly at Steve and Steve, while terribly unobservant in his daily life, was fluent in Bucky. Steve looked Bucky up and down, took in his body language, the tension in his shoulders and eyes, the way he licked his lips, the fidgeting of his fingers with the hem of his little robe, the slight stirring of his cock under his robe. 

Steve placed his fingertips back under the edge of Bucky’s robe and his other hand down Bucky’s back and palmed his ass lightly. “Oh yeah,” Steve said, gently squeezing the ass cheek in his hand. “I’ve spent the last 80 years wondering how I got a looker like you to give me the time of day.” Bucky squirms in his hold a little and Steve? Well Steve knows that Bucky gets off on his strength. Steve knows that Bucky loved him when he was small and skinny and full of piss and vinegar, he knows that and loves Bucky for it. But Steve is now a super soldier and can toss Bucky around and nothing gets Bucky hotter than being manhandled a little.

Steve remembers the first time he fucked Bucky against the wall after getting the serum. Bucky came three times and was practically catatonic by the end of it. Steve just tucking him into his cot and squeezed in next to him and tucked Bucky under his chin. The next morning, Bucky had sucked him off and then asked him to toss him around a little.

Knowing that the easiest way to get his fella’s knees weak is to show off his strength and manhandle him, Steve picks Bucky up and adjusts him on his lap so Bucky has one knee on either side of Steve’s hips and his cock is sitting snugly against Steve’s abdomen. Looking into Bucky’s face, Steve sees that Bucky’s pupils are blown a little and his flush is spreading down his chest.

Bucky’s always been a little bit on the submissive side in bed. In everyday life, Bucky had opinions and thoughts about everything and Steve is absolutely content in letting Bucky get his way in pretty much everything. But during sex? Bucky likes being moved and held down and overwhelmed a little bit. And this new thing? It’s giving Steve all these new ideas of how he can take Bucky apart and reduce him to a writhing mess.

Steve slides his hands uo Bucky’s thighs, right under his robe and up to his hips. He pushes his thumbs into Bucky’s hip bones, curls his fingers around Bucky’s slim hips and leans forward to kiss Bucky’s throat. Bucky moans and tilts his head back to give Steve more access to his throat. Steve spends a while sucking bruise after bruise into his throat and shoulders, once he pushes the robe off them so that Bucky’s chest is exposed. The only thing keeping the robe on Bucky’s body is the tie looped in a loose knot.

Bucky is working his hips, just softly rubbing his cock very lightly against Steve’s abdomen. Steve uses his hold on Bucky’s hips to help him get a good rhythm with just a little more intent. Bucky wines out a soft, high sound and Steve urges up to kiss it out of his mouth. He moves his hands up to Bucky’s face and kisses him like he means it, guiding Bucky’s head where he wants it, positions him so he can kiss him in the way that gets Bucky’s toes curling.

Steve reaches into the drawer of the end table and pulls out the little bottle of lube that they keep stashed all over the apartment. He drops the bottle onto the couch next to his hip and then fumbles with the knot of the tie of Bucky’s robe. He gets it undone and then opens the robe so Bucky’s chest and abdomen is bared to him. Bucky is wearing simple black navy briefs and Steve can see a dark patch where Bucky’s cock is leaking. Steve makes up his mind about how this is gonna go and tells Bucky.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do, beautiful,” Steve says, sitting up a little straighter on the couch. “I’m gonna get you out of those little panties you’re wearing,” and Bucky actually gasps at Steve calling his briefs panties. Steve smirks and continues. “And then I’m gonna put you on your knees and you’re gonna suck my cock and once I’ve gotten off, I’m gonna make you ride my fingers till you come.” Bucky squirms on Steve's lap and ducks his head in embarrassment. Steve just kisses his forehead and asks, “Does that sound alright?” Bucky just nods without looking at Steve and Steve does what he said he was gonna do.

Steve urges Bucky off his lap and helps him stand between Steve’s legs. He drags Bucky’s briefs off his hips and down his thighs slowly and looks Bucky straight in the eye. Bucky’s pupils are blown wide and his face is flushed. Steve ignores Bucky’s prick as it slaps up against his tummy. It’s hard and flushed pink and weeping pre come. Bucky steps out of his underwear and it only takes slight pressure on his shoulders for him to fall to his knees. Steve lifts his hips off the couch and pulls his sweats down to hook under his balls.

His cock is thick and long and he gives it a couple slow strokes, Bucky’s eyes on it, mouth slightly open. Steve gets one hand in Bucky’s soft hair, grips it tight, and uses his other hand to feed Bucky his cock. Bucky has a mouth specifically made for sucking dick. His lips are big and pouty and pink and his mouth is wet. Bucky starts bobbing his head on Steve’s dick like it’s his favorite hobby. Steve knows Bucky loves sucking cock. Bucky insists on getting his mouth on Steve almost daily and Steve is never gonna turn down a blowjob from Bucky because Bucky is so good at it.

“You’re so good, honey,” Steve said, stroking over Bucky’s face. He pressed his thumb to the edge of Bucky’s lip where it was stretched wide around him. “You’re so beautiful down there.” Steve kept up the praise, mumbling to Bucky the whole time he was on his knees before Steve. “So lucky to have you, love you so much, can’t wait to get my fingers in you, love the way you feel, I’ve always loved you.”

It takes Steve a long time to come normally, the serum blessed him with impressive stamina, but since he’s spent the last two weeks with his right hand as his only relief, he’s kind of on a hair-trigger and Steve is already feeling the beginning of his orgasm. Bucky tongues the underside and sucks on the way up. He spends time sucking on the head, tonging the slit and wrapping his beautiful lips tight around the base of the head. Steve uses his hand in Bucky’s hair to guide Bucky a little. Steve normally lets Bucky set his own pace and keeps his hips still when Bucky is sucking his dick, but today, Steve gently thrusts his hips and moves Bucky’s head how he wants it and Bucky just moans around Steve’s dick and slumps more into Steve.

Steve looks into Bucky’s face and sees little tears dip from Bucky’s eyes and he’s done for. He comes down Bucky’s throat, gently thrusting his hips, riding out his orgasm in Bucky’s sweet mouth. Bucky just moans and swallows around Steve, taking his orgasm down his throat. Steve lets Bucky nurse at his softening dick until he comes down from his orgasm and then he tucks his soft dick back into his sweats and pulls Bucky back into his lap.

He kisses Bucky hard and runs his hands over Bucky’s hair and back and chest. Bucky’s prick is firmly against Steve’s abdomen and he’s thrusting against Steve, moaning into his mouth. Steve breaks away from Bucky’s mouth and adjusts Bucky back a little so he can’t thrust against Steve anymore. Bucky wined in protest.

“Just a minute, honey,” Steve said patiently, grabbing the bottle of lube and popping the cap. He drizzled it generously over two of his fingers and then reached between Bucky’s legs, past his cock and rubbed those two fingers over his hole. Bucky gasped and tried to push down on Steve’s fingers but Steve withdrew just enough to keep the pressure nice and light. He circled and rubbed gently at Bucky’s hole till Bucky was shivering in anticipation.

Bucky has always liked the stretch of two fingers. He gets impatient when Steve tries to open him up on one finger at a time, insists that he loves the burn of two right away so Steve has always opened Bucky up one finger at a time because Steve gets off on the way Bucky fights with him before he gets what he wants. But now, Steve is gagging to get his fingers in Bucky and get him to come so he does what he never does and presses into Bucky’s hole with two of his thick fingers.

Bucky chokes at the pressure and can’t seem to draw in another breath till Steve has his fingers all the way in, his palm pressed to Bucky’s perineum. Steve moves fast, busts out every move he knows that will make Bucky’s body sing. He rubs the pads of his two fingers insistently into Bucky’s prostate, moving with Bucky’s body and he tries to rise up on his knees to escape the pressure. Steve leans forward and sucks a little pink nipple into his mouth. Bucky scrabbles at Steve’s shoulders with both of his hands. He is gasping at the duel sensation of the uncompromising pressure on his prostate which is sending sparks of burning pleasure throughout his pelvis and Steve’s teeth on his nipple. Steve switches to the other nipple and gives is a long hard suck and then bites it a little meanly. 

Steve takes his other hand and wraps it around Bucky’s prick. He doesn’t stroke it at all, just hold onto it and Bucky sobs in frustration. Steve is lighting him up from the inside and he’s at the jumping off point but just can’t seem to get there. 

“Please Stevie,” he cries. He has his metal hand gripping Steve’s shoulder and his flesh hand grasping at Steve’s hair, holding him to his chest. “Please, I n-need more!” Steve bites at Bucky’s nipple again and moans softly into his skin. Hearing Bucky beg always does it for him, makes him feel 10 feet tall.

“I’ll get you there, sweet thing,” Steve says, kissing at Bucky’s throat again. “I always take care of my girl, make sure she gets everything I can give her.” Bucky sobs at Steve’s words and Steve adjusts his grip on Bucky’s cock. He still doesn’t stroke Bucky, he just rubs his thumb firmly at the base of the bead of Bucky’s prick, right on the frenulum. 

Bucky’s back bows and Steve places a soft kiss at the hollow of Bucky’s throat. The pleasure is building in his body and he gasps as Steve sips a third finger into Bucky’s hole. The added stretch and the burning pleasure of the attention to his prostate and the head of his cock does it and he breaks apart.

Bucky’s cock twitches and jerks in Steve’s hand and Steve strokes Bucky through his orgasm, rubbing insistently at his prostate. He keeps this up till Bucky is shuddering in his arms and grasping weakly at his shoulders. He gently withdraws his fingers from Bucky’s hole and pets over it while Bucky comes down from his orgasm. Steve leans back and whips off his shirt and cleans up Bucky’s thighs and his fingers of come and lube and then draws Bucky in, holding him tightly to his chest.

They stayed there, holding each other and breathing for an eternity before Bucky gave a small shiver. Steve grips Bucky’s thighs and stands up. He carries Bucky’s into their bedroom and deposits him gently on the bed. He strips off his sweats and climbs in next to Bucky. He spoons up behind Bucky and gathers him tightly to his chest. Bucky makes a questioning sound when he feels Steve’s hard dick press into his ass.

Steve just kisses the back of Bucky’s neck. “Don’t worry about it, sweet thing, I just got hot watching your sweet little body wriggle on my lap. You looked so sexy, honey.” Bucky wines a little and makes a move to turn over but Steve traps him in his arms so he doesn’t move. “You already took care of me, baby,” Steve said. “I just liked seeing you feel good, but I’m not gonna be a greedy bastard and make you take care of me again when you’re so tired.”

Bucky gave a sleepy little grumble and burrowed further into his pillow. Steve just smiles against the back of Bucky’s neck. “Go to sleep Buck. I’ll make you coffee in the morning.”


End file.
